Among the many questions that are worried, the question of “for the sake of which” is the most pressing. The answer to it is the key to understanding our actions. What to look for the meaning when you have to question the value of one’s own being? We are talking with a logotherapist and a crisis psychologist.
Today, many lose faith in the best future, and with it the taste for life. Is there a way out?
Svetlana Yablonskaya: The loss of taste for life today is a normal reaction to the abnormal situation that destroyed our supporting performances: that the world is safe, that if I do well with others, life will turn to me with a bright side. Each has these installations, but if they are knocked out from under their feet, you have to do a great job to live on.
And if complete apathy and there is no energy?
Even in a state of apathy, we can something. First, remember that this is a consequence of the experienced stress, not scold yourself and give yourself time to recover. Secondly, we can rely on the experience of those who passed before us through serious illnesses, tests. We are not alone in this state, we are not alone.
But to amuse yourself with illusions and hope that soon everything will become as before, also not worth
The current situation is not a sprint, but a marathon. We need to hold out at a long distance. But we can learn to live in a changed situation. I recall a line from the song of Boris Grebenshchikov – “Teach us to breathe under water”. We can learn to breathe.
Go into internal emigration, into your small world, where there is a family, your favorite music, books, and not to delve into what is happening around is a productive strategy?
When she is meaningful, she is productive. And the meaning, in the expression of the creator of logotherapy, Victor Frankl, is found at the intersection of two variables: the uniqueness of a person and the uniqueness of the situation.
Speak, for example, to the mother of three children, that it would be nice to do something else besides taking care of the family, I would not be. But the departure from reality into internal emigration is dangerous because we cease to hear the voice of life, its requirements. And accordingly, the meaning becomes more difficult to find.
So those who have resources should think: what request of the world is personally addressed to me? What is the situation awaiting my participation? Sounds pathos, but this is a specific thing.
How to hear the answer of the world?
Hold eyes and heart open. Take yourself seriously, not only with your restrictions, but also with abilities and capabilities. Due to personal experience, I am included in the life of several cancer communities, where patients who are former and current communicate.
For them, the sphere of application of skills and knowledge often becomes the support of other patients
A person who is only a diagnosis is suppressed by heavy news. And the experience of the one who has already gone this path is extremely important to him, who will tell you where to run, what it is worth spending and money on, what to do with your fear and when it will be easier.
Everyone has their own unique experience and talent that we can share with the world. You just need to listen sensitively: where I need? And what speaks more in me?
So you can go to another extreme, in external activity, help others to the detriment of yourself and loved ones ..
Each adult has its own obligations. We are all for someone and something is responsible for. We can say that life has entrusted us with this responsibility. It would not be very correct to forget about it and turn to something else. Who will feed my cat, if not me?
In which case, moving to another country will help?
When you are driven by “why”, and not “from what”. If you dreamed about life on the shore of the ocean for many years and the situation is pushing, why not realize the dream? Study and professional development abroad – with all difficulties, universities in different countries open programs for our fellow citizens – can also become meaning. But if you are attached to the place in which you were born, where your loved ones, than the emigration will turn out for you?
Bhe does that hatred gives strength. But does it make sense?
I do not believe that violence can be meaning. Those who survived trouble, violence or a witness to the disaster, could really erupt strong anger. All crisis psychologists know this who works in hot spots. Aggression really gives the strength to live, contrary to what is happening around. But this is only for a while.
Hatred hides the pain of loss of what is important to us. It seems that revenge will bring reassurance and restore order, but this is an illusion: revenge, we will not return what is taken away. We can only do something to realize this value. Build a new house if the old is destroyed. Help those who suffer too much. Or at least leave memory on Earth about this, for example, about a departed man.
The past life will not return, but how to put up with it?
It is important to sit down
https://milliers-de-fondecrans.com/journal-d-un-seducteur-de-spa-avec-des-astuces/
at some point and see what was taken away from me, what I lost. It can be the life of a loved one, home or business. We can mourn what was left irrevocably. But then there will be the next step: the world is not always so cruel. He can be kind and fair. And we can learn how to live in it.